matrixmann: (Thinking)
When an icon of one's suicidal youth commits suicide himself, then it's indeed an irony that life offers there.
But, thinking about it, what's it with a hero, where does this status end and where does he start to be only a human being again? With own problems, desires, flaws and personal weaknesses?
It's actually so very simple. So simple that one forgets about it when he looks up to someone.
Every hero that is like an icon to those with demons plaguing them inside, most often he fights some demons inside himself. Even when it's long past having your biggest battle with them, the fight goes on because, once developed, these demons never let you go again. Until the end of your life.
And so... it comes that even a hero might surrender them, although everyone of that kind of human logically knows it is nonsense to do so.
But sometimes you don't know how strong they are, how much a plague they are to the protagonist and how long he already kept fighting them - or how long he already kept running away from them.
It's tough to judge this from the outside - from the outside it's always a pretty easy job to do.
Much tougher it always is when judging it from the inside and taking note of one's abilities and capacities to overcome. How much he/she's caught up in the dependencies of his/her own life. And how much or less there's a way out of it what is plaguing someone.
In that point, even a hero is just a human...
And those things may press him to the wall until he's "about to break".
matrixmann: (Black suits comin')
"Which one of your oaths is the one more important to you?"
"Of course that oath to protect civil life from harm!"
"Then why don't you rebel against your superior when he just orders you to harm the people you swore to protect?!"
matrixmann: (Default)
A reminder in times where mass media declare recently deceased former chancellor of the Federal Republic of Germany Helmut Kohl "a person loving and always having fought for freedom":

In 1985, by the first government under chancellor Kohl, the change of the general law concerning the freedom of assembly had been applied that imposes a ban on wearing face coverings ("Vermummungsverbot") for most public events and a ban of protective gear such as armor of all kinds on these events.
Ever since then, the only right to assemble you have is to come around in your casual suit and to be recognizable for every policeman on this event at any given time.

(See post: https://matrixmann.dreamwidth.org/35829.html (all links in German))
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
How many times you wanna stay there and repeat the same phrases over and over again?
How many times you wanna stay there and the daily usual sloppy work keeps going on and on?
You expect anyone to believe you? You expect anyone to believe you do something in his interest?
You expect anything at all that no-one sees that you only try to administer the state of things because it's all too much for you? That you're overchallenged?
Politics is not a game of "I wanna be rich and famous". If you look for that, just dicover some dormant talent in you and try your luck in the free economy that you always praise so much!
High politics govern the life of thousands of people. You do your job as they do! Hand in hand work, you can't exist without them and they can't exist without you! Everyone does a job for the other so he doesn't have to worry about it!
This is the pattern of the game - and if you're not willing to follow that, just fuck you off!!
Fuck-up of a mass of human lives, you know how they call that? "Mass-murderer" and "war criminal".
You slowly get aware of what game you signed up for? This is not a children's game, this is not something you don't carry any responsibility for! Just like everyone else who "only" works in a factory!
This is not about you and your ego! This is about a high responsibility that you carry! And if you fuck that up big time even voluntarily, then this needs to get treated like "voluntarily"!
You know what happens to war criminals and mass-murderers, so you have an idea what judgment might happen to you before a court?

Manhunt

16 May 2017 07:50 am
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Brain stop!
What did you get me in this vexation?

You make me bad,
you bring me trouble,
counselors and schooling pack,
you make me double

The world is sane,
what I have to see
what I do is strange,
it's mocking me

(Break)

I deserve what's happening to me ("me" elongated)

Chorus:
Roaring folks behind me
and they call:
We hunt you, we gonna find you!
We eat you, we gonna whip you!
And if we have you, we gonna kill you!

Fresh start,
I could be happy in salvation!

Another view,
another life,
no troubles with you,
I'll stay alive

Friends are mine,
a mate for me,
family backs up my spine,
and I got jobs to be

They see right up the lie in me ("me" elongated)

(Break)

Chorus

Chorus2:
Bitch, you! - We gonna get you!
Hack you, we gonna grind you!
And set you, we gonna crush you!

(Instrumental passage of chorus music)

I can't
I bring it
To cherish my conviction
The sounds,
I'm sinning,
my brightest malediction,
you've found
I did it,
to serve this vile addiction

I could be happy in salvation...

Chorus

Chorus2

We hate you, we gonna stop you!
Pest, you! We gonna hang you!
And end you, we gonna shame you!

Oh, I'm the devil alive...

(longer instrumental passage; music the same as for introduction of verses)



Musical genre: Trance / Hardtrance (Electronic)

Cursive text: Annotations about music / vocals

Ant-sex

11 May 2017 01:55 am
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
Female voice:
Hi!
Saw you standing there.
You got a nice face.
Oh, you're not sipping on your glass?
Well, it's not the best place here.
Just the only one you haven't got to walk miles for to get there.
You wanna come with me and I show you a better spot?

Male voice:
Fuck you bitch,
save your tits,
tell me something I don't know!
I speak three tongues,
work a ton,
Baby, you should get some niveau!

Female voice:
You needn't have to be so rude!
Ts, should've known when seeing your coke instead of a beer
that something's wrong with you, guy!
Better save the drugs next time
and get some manners before you get so aggressive!
Which woman wants to go out with you?

Male voice:
(Who says that I want to go home with a female?)

Fuck you bitch,
save your tits,
try to tell me that I don't know!
You want a bang,
and some drink
Baby, the story's getting fucking old!

2nd male voice:
You turned her down pretty well!
How about the two of us going in a dark corner?
I think I know what you want...

Male voice:
Fuck you, dude,
before I puke!
Tell me something I don't know!
I cut myself,
wanted to kill
Baby, you should get some SM-Studio!

Fuck you, pal,
go to hell,
and please take your fucking tube with you!
You think I suck,
golden luck
Baby, I've had it with the likes of you!

Baby, I've had it with the likes of you!

Baby, I've had it with the likes of you!



Musical genre: Hardstyle (Electronic)
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
"The land of the free never really cared about freedom. Not its politicians, not its oligarchs, not the people that really decide over the course of the country. It worked together with Nazis barely that they've fled from Europe just to bring down the Soviet Union because they were its political enemies. The United States - a Jew-friendly place? Open your eyes, by the time the Germans killed them by the masses in their concentration camps, nobody liked them anywhere either. Henry Ford was an anti-Semite, Disney was an anti-Semite - nobody thought about correcting their views or putting them to jail for it. Ford even had good trade relations with the Third Reich as long as it was possible. IBM delivered punch card machines for the bureaucratic administration of the concentration camps. If the United States really would have been so much against it, they had ordered those key technologies to be stopped to be delivered to the Nazis before they made the declaration of war. It would have just been a blow to them. Key technologies are always subject to the final OK of the state. If it doesn't happen, the administration doesn't want it. And the trail keeps continuing until the present. Fascists and butchers? As long as they're political enemies of an enemy of the states, they don't see reason why not making them their tool for a power change or to simply destroy the most promising competitor beside them.
One can't even tell how long in time this behavior goes back. It's been so much inherent to its system, it's like it goes back to the very early days - since the US was able to move on the international political parquet."
matrixmann: (Wasteland Ranger)
5 days ago - now also soccer players get attacked by they-don't-know-who (pick a group of your preferation of hate)...
Er, slowly things reach the stage where everyone's going nuts, don't you think?
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
What is there to say?
This is the world you created.
This is the seeds you have sown.
And this is the harvest you get.
Say - are you fucking happy with it?!
Are you happy that any grand nation
can attack another nation,
without being subject to punishment?
Are you happy with crying over people
that you didn't know they existed
until yesterday?
Is this your understanding of
humanism?
Selectable like your joys -
and after a few weeks gone
you have forgotten about everything.
This is your standard.
Scapegoats and heroes
and "Iiiii have nothing to do with that".

Original:
https://matrixmann.dreamwidth.org/129999.html
matrixmann: (Default)
2014: Raid on the regional administrations in Donetsk, Luhansk and Kharkiv.
Beginnings of a war of extermination - and of reversing an illegtimate coup d'état, protected and organized by Western countries, as well as fighting for one's right to live not as a 2nd-class-citizen in the place you lived before.
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Even though there's International Women's Day on March 8, never forget: As well as there are many kind and good-natured women who fulfill their duties faithfully and are always there in case of need, willing to help, there are also as many of them which make more of a resemblance to Goebbel's wife.

Activist

4 March 2017 09:11 am
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
"...Human rights need to be preserved...!"
"Human rights - do you really know what this term means? Do you actually have an imagination in mind what it means when these are taken away from you? Do you fucking know what it means to daily awake in a cell, the guards clinging with their tonfas through the bars all over the jail and the first thing they do is beating you up before breakfast? Do you fucking know what it means to get raped three times a day by various people and they spit down on you, piss on you and laugh about you? Can you feel what it means to get played on and it's fun to your torturer to break your bones and see you scream? Do you have any idea how it feels inside to be exposed to the public, to get thrown dirt at and you know either when you don't do as the hosts say or not, the audience is gonna rip you to pieces? Can you feel how terrified you are in all these situations? Or when your Mom, 3 times taller than you, beats you up as a child and locks you in the dark basement as punishment for screaming from pain?
When you stand before a bunch of youngsters that wait to take the popcorn out of their pockets while you cut yourself, shout at them for teasing you everyday anew?"
"... ..."
"Before repeating this term over and over again, get the hell of aware what it actually means! It's not about democracy, freedom all these empurpled phrases! It's not about headscarfs and crosses, gender equality, and you being prefered for a job because you're a woman! It's not about something you can catalog and protect with paper and pencil or claim before a court!
It's about not waking up everyday and the first thing you experience is getting smacked in the face and treated like somebody's tool for pleasure! - when you walk on the street, you get shot for fucking nothing! when you try to be a man, but still get raped and molested because for some still you are a woman for all eternity!
Before you pamper around the next time about your wrong life decisions being "discrimination" or civilian death exists in war, think twice what you get excited about!
You go to university and even your parents pay your ass, some even need to kill to be able to go to school! Some even kill because of school, because it drives them mad!
You think you've seen something?! Fuck it, the only thing you've seen is your golden cage from the inside! And that's the way you act and think!"



Can be seen as a correction or addition to this one: https://matrixmann.dreamwidth.org/84431.html
matrixmann: (Somebody called me?)
I got no friends
and my family hates me too,
I ain't no best
and I basically fake me too,
day by day
I stare at screens because I dearly like it to,
fast food hay,
nothing special that I really like to do

(expression change)
Calls of duty,
fragrant beauty,
I hate my TV,
inet fucks me,
why don't I decide to die?

I got no job
and the center hates me too,
ain't no hot
but I take from you even though,
here we go,
nothing that I'm really useful for,
stranded emo,
I like to act like I am fucking sore

(expression change)
Beer and booze
to suck up my blues,
consume and regret
to make me forget,
why am I still being alive?

Today is the day I throw my life away,
all are dead, my parents in their bed,
I'm taking drugs to make me go numb,
let's film a movie to star me on TV,
you all go to hell...
I got my Uzis loaded

There's a bunch of clubs I can go to,
there's a bunch of clubs I can swear my oath to
Who is it today
that can steal my boredom away?
15 minutes of fame,
now that's what I wanna say!
A drip in life,
what's there more than to die?
(*click* Noise of a beer can opening, drinks a sip of it, then outpours it in a circle around himself)
Now set this on fire,
burn it and feel the spiky wire,
grind it and put it deep,
to hell with it, I don't wanna sleep!
Bring your warnings and I am that guy,
what?! A knife?!
I fucking wanted a last line!

I know I'll land in hell,
but don't you think it doesn't fit me well?
Nothing in life, nothing to strive
Let's make a party with blood and spine!

Today is the day I throw my life away,
all are dead, my parents in their bed,
I'm taking drugs to make me go numb,
let's film a movie to star me on TV,
you all go to hell...
I got my Uzis loaded

(sounds of plinking bottles and glass, gunshots, squeaking tires, car increasing speed)

Chorus repeat (after a while)

(new noises: people screaming, police sirens)

I got my Uzis loaded

(SMG fire)

I got my Uzis loaded



Musical genre: Hardstyle (Eectronic)

Disclaimer: No reference to living persons is being given. This text is not about existing grudges of the author, nor does it lay down a "plan" for future events or wishes for future events.
It is a parody close to cynicism. Megalomania about being a deadbeat, combined with the existence of a spoiled brat that doesn't know how too kill time in his life and therefore ends up getting flamingly mad and doing extreme things.
Hear that before you want to grab the receiver.
matrixmann: (Thinking)
It's tough of a deal to watch comrades dying away, not being able to treat their wounds, to soothe their anger and hate, and to stop them from committing actions which prove to be senseless in the end...
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Deaths of the big ones continue.
No-one to replace them.
Or just idealess whippersnappers which don't have the personality to leave behind a name or leave the world in chaos, turned upside down.
Profiles are scarce, direction too.
Ratcatchers come and go and celebrate one party after another.
People following them, don't know where to go.
Where to lean on.
Darkest days, darkest hours - one can only hope there's huge bright-shining ray of light to come to bring this to an end...
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Le sentier de sang keeps unfolding...
...And still the one to cry the most about the dead doesn't want to admit it's all his own work.
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Worin liegt der Schlüssel zur Boshaftigkeit?
...In dem Moment, wenn du begreifst, dass du jemandem oder etwas alles antun kannst, was du willst, und niemand kommt, um dich dafür zu bestrafen. Egal wie grausam, unfair, ekelhaft, pervers, verächtlich oder unmenschlich es auch sein mag.

Wherein lies the key to malignity?
...The moment when you realize you can do anything that you want to anyone or anything and there's no-one coming up to punish you for what you've done. No matter how cruel, unfair, disgusting, perverted, despicable or inhuman it may be.
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
Hardstyle Overlord tells you a tale

There was a kid,
fucked up for a bit,
they tried to put it to hell

Fo-Fo-Fo - For all its life,
for all amount of time,
they picked on it,
spit on it,
taught it what fear was like,
low self-esteem,
battery,
can you imagine this?

Then you come along, speak the wrong,
and wonder what makes it snap back at you?
No miracle pills help,
no cruel punishment,
in matter of change -
what do you think you can correct this?

Chorus (sung):
You know how it feels?
You know how it feels?

They wanted to change me,
but it's all that I've felt,
raging in me, the reaction to yourselves


(octave higher)
All they could tell me is how bad I am,
nobody's seen me, the past glow in my eyes

What they offer you is a whole hard lot of scam,
in the end they lead to the more that somebody dies,
they have no idea what it means to withstand,
and they got not idea what it means to awake in a sea of lies


Hardstyle Overlord goes on with the tale

Got the kid,
worked on it,
they tried to put it away

Fo-Fo-Fo-Fo-Fo - Found its way to the violence,
suicide,
homicide,
didn't stick to the silence,
what a cry,
humans die,
can you feel the madness?

Then you come on by, speak so sly,
and wonder what gets it back at you?
Your treatments don't help,
you build your pack of innocence!
in matter of change -
what do you think you can correct this?

Chorus

SOMETHING's wrong with the world and I can feel it,
SOMETHING's playing tricks on me and I can't heal it,
SOMEONE told me to be good again so I can reel it,
This SOMEONE lives in a world I can't deal with

Social workers, they tell you what you should be,
doctors get sent to poke around in your life,
policemen shake heads to that you can still be free

You learn that it's not a question of the time,
your world is a mess and
I've fucking seen it,
you got no answers in hand, but
still you want to see me fit

I was happy if I was a teen that
didn't know right from wrong!


Hardstyle Overlord

No-one to trust,
only adjust,
they betray you,
thinking "this will do",
lock you in cage,
writing on page,
anxiety hype -
gosh, he has a fucking knife!!

They're coming,
they're coming,

they're coming to get me!!
They're coming,
they're hunting,
they're wanting to fetch me!!

Black UFOs over my head -
they're coming to get me!!


Chorus reprise

(little faster, more like rap / going-insane talk)
SOMETHING's wrong with the world and I can feel it,
SOMETHING's playing tricks on me and I can't heal it,
SOMEONE told me to be good again so I can reel it,
This SOMEONE lives in a world I can't deal with




Musical genre: Mixed Hardstyle / Hard Trance (Electronic)


Markings:

fat text - second voice
cursive - both voices
matrixmann: (Thinking)
What would somebody say who died 10 years ago about the fuss that takes place today?
In politics as well as society as well as technology - how things in general developed during the last decade?
Would he think "the better that I have died, that's even worse than when I was still alive"?
Or would he say "I should have stayed, just to try to make a change in all these things"?
What about somebody who killed himself?
Would he be happy about his deed?
Would he scream in horror how the world has become, compared to 10 years ago?
What would his words be about Facebook, about streaming, about the current state the world is in - the economical crisis, the West's fight with Russia, the war in Syria, Libya, newly grown information sources that didn't exist back then?
Also, what would he say about culture, about current trends? About the rise of German Schlager, the dropping in the background of Hiphop, the rise of softened Electro House and the current remake mania in Hollywood?
What would he say if he heard that now it's a trend for the lost youth to travel to the Middle East and play "Call Of Duty" for real - voluntarily?

Sometimes it would be better if someone was alive again who didn't follow all these developments, just to give you a more distanced opinion, free from the political correctness of today, free from the frames and shapes which society and public likes to think in during current times.
Having been gone opens a door to potentially give you new ideas. Ideas you wouldn't have if you talked to somebody who's a child of his time and narrow-minded as the current episode is.
Too long ago may become a problem as the changes over 20 and 30 years or more are too huge for someone to comprehend in a small amount of time. There would be the danger of becoming overwhelmed by impressions.
Many things changed in a longer episode of time.

But even during the last 10 years, you have some things which totally took a major development, while you have others where you would say "business as usual". Nothing has changed.
The stupification of mankind hasn't stopped, quite the opposite, it has increased. Through the invention of smartphones and social media shifting from a text-based to a photo- and video-based issue. Bullying and mobbing hasn't vanished from the face of the earth, its results only have become quieter and no-one talks about it anymore loudly. Children themselves don't take a gun into their hands anymore nessecarily to make it known.
Adults don't have more time for their offspring, they even whip themselves some more and force themselves onto their place of work.
Poverty didn't disappear. And the rich have even grown richer than they used to be.
The only thing that maybe has become different, making an interesting change in the pack of cards, that keeping secrets has become more critical for the states. Not only is it more of an importance for them to survive than before, but also the means to do it need to scatter because it is more likely that somebody might get something out and show it to the public. Not all people entrusted with confidential information still agree on or are convinced of keeping their secrets anymore.
Also, there has grown an echo chamber which specialized in picking these things up and spread it as their own propaganda, just like you're used to it from the notorious usual suspects.
This changes the game of what to believe and what not to believe.

Someone who died earlier and was sick of this system might find its joy with the new circumstances...
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
Maybe there's a reason why the American establishment wants to colonize Mars so badly: If they can build themselves a shelter on a distant planet, maybe they think "oh, now we can make nuclear war as we want, we don't need to have consideration for anyone anymore - if we want something, we get that something by all means!".
They don't need to care about the destruction anymore, but about the business value.

July 2017

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