matrixmann (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
matrixmann) wrote2018-06-06 11:29 am
matrixmann) wrote2018-06-06 11:29 am
Entry tags:
About privilege (The one who claims to see no flesh but only sees flesh)
"You tell me it's racism / sexism if I talk bad about a person whose skin is darker than mine / who has different fuck habits than me?
Who's talking here all the fucking time "He needs to be preferred because he's from a marginalized social group"?
You know what? If somebody really belongs to a couple of these groups that you call "minorities", you won't even recognize him 'cause you're so caught up in your world of cliches what all of them need to be like! You ever asked one of them what they really want? No, you just think you've found the philosophers' stone and therefore you know all of their pains, all of their needs and all of their wants! And you think they're all one homogeneous mass, like there's no variation between them!
Where's the fucking shit of "everyone forges his own fortune" that you grew up with? Where does all the money come from that you spend every day? You really think that destiny is that tightly set?
Then why don't you give up all your lifestyle and donate it to one of the people you say that they need it much more than you?! If you think you're so privileged, you gonna acquire it back in no time and your life won't be like shit 'cause you're a white cis-gender whore that passes so well in this society..."
Who's talking here all the fucking time "He needs to be preferred because he's from a marginalized social group"?
You know what? If somebody really belongs to a couple of these groups that you call "minorities", you won't even recognize him 'cause you're so caught up in your world of cliches what all of them need to be like! You ever asked one of them what they really want? No, you just think you've found the philosophers' stone and therefore you know all of their pains, all of their needs and all of their wants! And you think they're all one homogeneous mass, like there's no variation between them!
Where's the fucking shit of "everyone forges his own fortune" that you grew up with? Where does all the money come from that you spend every day? You really think that destiny is that tightly set?
Then why don't you give up all your lifestyle and donate it to one of the people you say that they need it much more than you?! If you think you're so privileged, you gonna acquire it back in no time and your life won't be like shit 'cause you're a white cis-gender whore that passes so well in this society..."
no subject
And it can also happen to you that you don't know what you have done wrong and still you got some condition that doesn't go away anymore.
no subject
no subject
All is fine in life... Traveling here... Working there... Then everything turned upside down after half a year or a few months... And ALL of that is so fucking fine!
I don't know what's so fine about this if you can never calculate for more than a year. I don't think this is exciting, even my former life already felt so as it still went to school.
Yes, you can discover the world in your younger years because you have the fewest in duties tied to your neck - but, is all that really there just to wait especially for YOU to come over?
And - is all that really worth your effort?
The truth is: Every entity in this world wants to make a profit of you. Of your time, your physical power, your belief - everything.
Is believing and relying on that all that life has to offer? I don't think so - even less I think so because I know from the start that, as soon as you become unable or unwilling to fulfill all the crap you get asked to do in all this, for whatever reasons, you get thrown away like a used paper towel and your journey ends.
So, what have you "seen from life" then, if all you were doing was believing in the bullshit "the world's open and waits for you" that people told you about and doing extra hours to convince all people of "yes, I AM someone!"?
Your broken bones, your broken soul and life and your financial problems are all yours then. Nobody of the former entities is interested in it anymore.
Fine... For ending up alone and being regarded as "throw away", yes, that for you invested in all that overenthusiasm and did all that shit to be restless through your 20s!
...And all that to happen, if I followed that, was already clear to my mind as my former life wasn't even 18.
It's nothing better than the newest cell-phone, the most expensive jacket, fucking status symbols to "prove" to other people you're no loser in life.
All falls to dust, if they wrong conditions become reality... Which is not far from possibility
no subject
Yes, though I don't see it is a problem - you had come to this world and society and parents were caring about you were spending energy, efforts on you and after you had grown up to have to pay the bill, we are the bees of a kind and have not only to consume but make something worthless of our being. The frustration I am getting goes mostly when you work on somebody you are full time involved but you are not getting much after, all the mistakes of people up are summarising and from up to down you are getting the less is possible. To get up in any structure demands not to be the wisest but the cleverest, the ruthless to push everybody from your way up and it is not the end to get up to some more profitable position you have to spend more energy to stay there than on real work. Making money or doing something real in big companies is always like this for me nowadays and I still believe it is possible using your own brains and energy having your own business and making deserving profit. I will try at near future and I have ideas though of course it is difficult if ever possible to compete with big companies cause they are never playing honest and all the system of laws working to ensure you it is useless and you have to give up and go back to plant working as slave for food... What is about ruthless reality we ate living in, I don't know I am still an optimist and the years behind are my allies, I still posses an enthusiasm to make something new, to believe in future which certainly will not be an easy one but I do believe it will be interesting as a scene to fight, to think, to study.
no subject
For long it is so that it's no give and take, it's only a take from you and you'll get tossed, thrown away, when you're not useful enough anymore.
That's why I don't get the unconcern that people the same age always showed.
I know it will be so and there will be no exception for me (why should it?), so then why should I invest all my powers into this?
This seemed somewhat masochistic from me to do, if I know the final result already years before...
no subject
Yes, absolutely but clever rich guys are also know their business - if suddenly the people like you and at least at the moment me will outnumber the common workers full to ears in debts, bright plans and so on to work from hand to mouth, the rich ruling fuckers will start something which will give them an opportunity to force you do what they like in prison, or they will start a war o clean up the countries and everything will stars again with new currency, financial pyramid and too bright future for the youngsters with very possible drugs for free...
no subject
For my taste, what my former life, during the age where it realized that and was relatively a little open about that, saw happening from the side of adults and youth protection services - it was that exactly.
People brainwashed by those myths "oh, life won't be like this if you really try!", young and old, communicated the message to you how wrong and even morally condemnable it is.
I came to that position also only through the inspiration of another person - that guy killed himself, but with a more media-attention-causing method.
I saw how media distorted his writings, what he left behind of his mindset for others to read. They distorted him to a mentally sick idiot who has just taken the wrong pathway - a real beast to society.
Fact is: Part of him was, part of him was not. Signs of chronic PTSD can definitely be found in his self-written diary entries, but PTSD doesn't make you gaga that you don't know what you're doing and saying anymore.
Still I think this part of his legacy is correct, didn't change any bit through all those years. Actually, things even became worse since then.
So, you can say... My mind knew it wasn't alone with thinking so, it wasn't wrong and an idiot (confirmation implies that it's no idiocy 'cause this is pretty individual), it met some other people through that too which agreed with that - but, I also know which path I was heading for and what it would mean in terms of "relationships with other people" for me. Most people would tell you you're a lazy slacker or an idiot because everyone is mentally occupied by the way this system conservatively works.
...Well, admittedly, in between, without calculation for it, some other thing emerged - you can say "life happened" which put me into the position that I won't ever need to surrender to the hamster wheel anymore as I've got both of my hands full with dealing with myself.
no subject
no subject
Also, I don't think I need to lean on a youngster anymore who's been dead for a while already and where nothing ever will change anymore.
With having grown, I can very well stand on my own two feet.
It might be my brain, but - I don't know if it sounds strange, that guy ever was like the only person which ever had a real influence upon my life and soul.
Him saying openly what he said in his legacy, instead of many other people steadily denying those things and lying to themselves - this is something that made my journey begin.
From ashes to a soldier who doesn't want to die - I think that's a positive development.
That wouldn't be kicked loose by any of those artificial unauthentic role model figures which you have tons around in the world.