matrixmann (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
matrixmann) wrote2017-08-09 09:19 am
matrixmann) wrote2017-08-09 09:19 am
Entry tags:
Homelessness
...The very feeling belonging nowhere, being caught between two chairs, knowing no place you can go to, always the same phrases again your ideas are not desired, you think the wrong way, look at things the wrong way, all of the rest of the world does his own thing without asking you for your opinion, presenting you with a fait accompli all too often, and simply there's nothing you can feel routed to, believe in and just take as it is?
And you think, that homelessness can be filled with a party, with an elite club, with money, with sex, with entertainment, with things you can own, with children you procreate, with people you save, with sacrifice you practice daily, with consuming all that your mouth can find, with hate, with calling your mother soil the greatest country in the world, with waving your hands for a pop star, with religion, with humility and doing all kinds of things people tell you to do?
Don't be a fool! The loss is never going to disappear, no matter what you try to fill that hole with!
You can eat a thousand drugs and pretend ten thousand tons of stuff to your mind, still that wound will remain and it'll continue to bleed endlessly! You feel it in your every cell of your body!
Nothing can cover or change the situation living in a world that constantly says "Fuck off!" to you and "Your survival is none of my business!", unless should you fuck destiny back!
There's no deliverance from it, no relief, and no outer entity can make it disappear!
All that you try to make you forget is just temporary stuff - one year it's one thing, the next it's the other and another measure in the third year, all your life long!
Once you've become, you'll always remain the loner, solitude, a wanderer; all that crap telling you it can revoke that, it's a lie!
Better get a grip on it and learn to endure it every day instead of running after ratcatcher after ratcather that doesn't really make you happy permanently!
Something else suitable: https://matrixmann.dreamwidth.org/17000.html
And you think, that homelessness can be filled with a party, with an elite club, with money, with sex, with entertainment, with things you can own, with children you procreate, with people you save, with sacrifice you practice daily, with consuming all that your mouth can find, with hate, with calling your mother soil the greatest country in the world, with waving your hands for a pop star, with religion, with humility and doing all kinds of things people tell you to do?
Don't be a fool! The loss is never going to disappear, no matter what you try to fill that hole with!
You can eat a thousand drugs and pretend ten thousand tons of stuff to your mind, still that wound will remain and it'll continue to bleed endlessly! You feel it in your every cell of your body!
Nothing can cover or change the situation living in a world that constantly says "Fuck off!" to you and "Your survival is none of my business!", unless should you fuck destiny back!
There's no deliverance from it, no relief, and no outer entity can make it disappear!
All that you try to make you forget is just temporary stuff - one year it's one thing, the next it's the other and another measure in the third year, all your life long!
Once you've become, you'll always remain the loner, solitude, a wanderer; all that crap telling you it can revoke that, it's a lie!
Better get a grip on it and learn to endure it every day instead of running after ratcatcher after ratcather that doesn't really make you happy permanently!
Something else suitable: https://matrixmann.dreamwidth.org/17000.html
no subject
...not becoming part of something which I don't approve their rules of or which I see from the start, it's just dirty business what they do. You know, business that has to do with making you dumber than you are and agree with shit you personally don't agree with.
I'd be willing to be part of something which I'd feel it's got a connection to me, going deep enough, and it just signalizes me "come as you are, we don't want you a different way than this".
Haven't still found such place, owned it many years ago, but that was as I was younger.