matrixmann: (Somebody called me?)
...You know, where you nerd activists for the internet and admonishers of data privacy have been missing?
Not where it was about bringing innovation into the living rooms and free education, not where it was about keeping snooping eyes out of you living room.
It's even more simple.
Where was your word as the internet was turned into a commercial field and a place of the same life seriousness like the real life?
Once it was a harbor for people who felt misunderstood, who had specialized interests and who didn't find anyone to talk to in the same situation so easily right around the corner living next to them. It was a place where people could meet anonymously and not be ashamed about every shit they think and put interest in - or where they needed to calculate that next day some S.W.A.T. team is gonna kick their door in because some dubious fucker didn't like their opinion or decided to act the "concerned citizen"!
Also, there weren't whole industries of lawyers which just live from telling people they violate some big corporation's copyright or they talk the wrong way about movie/game X!
You know where you would have been needed?
Just as this kind of Pandora's box started to be opened! As this resort was turned into a place of jealousy, hate and aggressive agitation!
'Cause when Pandora's box gets opened, you can never close it again. That's exactly what things have become in the reality...
Now all outcasts, misunderstood people and nerds have lost their place to be almost completely. "Almost" because, if you're unlucky, even in the most hidden place in the internet anyone finds you, reads you and sees the need to stop you from what you're doing!
Even all your software to become anonymous again doesn't revoke that process 'cause the race has already begun for long to get a hold of this. Just before it really got started and became a common thing.
...Tell everyone what you think you can do to give this back to them, to the people who wish and who need it - for the sake of creativity or their own sanity.
matrixmann: (Ready (alternative default))
"But, how radical we need to be?"
"You need to be as radical that it fucking saves your ass!"

Mourn

15 August 2017 06:05 pm
matrixmann: (Thinking)
We met
in a place where you don't get,
doubting souls,
not accepting the way the world all spins around,
thunderbolt,
united by someone's death, apprentice hounds,
young and naive,
different, but still same species

But then
came darkened clouds,
one holy day,
shady, proud,
one drove us away,
with him came fiends,
so dark you don't want to meet them at night,
robbed all the sense,
split all everything in fights

(Break)

Chorus:
Ever since then...
Never again
words of "you're okay",
"you are right",
"don't let them get you!",
"they all don't understand",
scattered into all directions,
it took out all the kind connections,
lost a voice,
lost a belief,
today all live everywhere
and nowhere

Sometimes
you don't know
was it intend or accident?
That effect,
kids all ripped themselves to rags!
Someone playing insect,
threatening his opponents,
what did they do?
Seemingly catch the wrath of his true path!

Just for that,
he punished us all,
holy crusade,
acting tall,
swung 'round the blade,
deviation not in his concept,
when all was destroyed,
he fucked off in his own little place,
leaving with all his unalloyed!

(Break)

Chorus

(in powerful voice; more aggressive synth, 1st line sung, 2nd one spoken/shouted in turns):

Don't tell me it wasn't the purpose
in the first place!
Don't tell me it didn't benefit
anything in the big space!

(4/4 beat setting in)

Something going hot topic,
superiors silencing you,
people finding the logic,
infecting other people too,
on the verge of an audience
and then, bursting the zoo?

Don't tell me it doesn't look like it...
Don't tell me it doesn't look like it...

(Break)

2 x Chorus

(whispered while ending music):
Wherever you are...



Musical genre: past 2005 Progressive House, Hard Trance (Electronic)

Fat text - Voice goes up, becomes more powerful
Cursive text - Annotations about the music / vocals

This song was written for a male voice.
matrixmann: (Black suits comin')
What I said
and what I haven't said,
I'm not here to steal your identity,
I'm here to correct it,
as five plus five don't equal eighty-nine,
so you shall not spread that one thing is this,
while it's always been that,
and in fact it was this all along from the beginning,
you shall not teach the vulnerable about demons and angels,
you shall just tell them the truth,
and when it means acting against your identity,
well, what identity was it then anyway?

A criticism is not on offense to who you are,
it is being critical against an aspect of it,
and if it is offensive, what fragile legs does it stand upon then?
Does it hold a real storm?
No, that's only possible,
if identity doesn't become doctrine.
"Here, come, adopt my identity!", or you'll be my entire foe,
that says everything how it is with openness for real.
Black or white, whole or not, all or nothing,
that's a pattern infants think alike.
I didn't know that infants can vote
or shape the culture society worships.
matrixmann: (Default)
...The very feeling belonging nowhere, being caught between two chairs, knowing no place you can go to, always the same phrases again your ideas are not desired, you think the wrong way, look at things the wrong way, all of the rest of the world does his own thing without asking you for your opinion, presenting you with a fait accompli all too often, and simply there's nothing you can feel routed to, believe in and just take as it is?
And you think, that homelessness can be filled with a party, with an elite club, with money, with sex, with entertainment, with things you can own, with children you procreate, with people you save, with sacrifice you practice daily, with consuming all that your mouth can find, with hate, with calling your mother soil the greatest country in the world, with waving your hands for a pop star, with religion, with humility and doing all kinds of things people tell you to do?
Don't be a fool! The loss is never going to disappear, no matter what you try to fill that hole with!
You can eat a thousand drugs and pretend ten thousand tons of stuff to your mind, still that wound will remain and it'll continue to bleed endlessly! You feel it in your every cell of your body!
Nothing can cover or change the situation living in a world that constantly says "Fuck off!" to you and "Your survival is none of my business!", unless should you fuck destiny back!
There's no deliverance from it, no relief, and no outer entity can make it disappear!
All that you try to make you forget is just temporary stuff - one year it's one thing, the next it's the other and another measure in the third year, all your life long!
Once you've become, you'll always remain the loner, solitude, a wanderer; all that crap telling you it can revoke that, it's a lie!
Better get a grip on it and learn to endure it every day instead of running after ratcatcher after ratcather that doesn't really make you happy permanently!



Something else suitable: https://matrixmann.dreamwidth.org/17000.html
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
Wer Führungspersönlichkeiten haben will, kann nicht unmündige Bälger heranziehen oder ewig nach der Devise arbeiten "Das geht euch nichts an! Macht, dass ihr wegkommt! Ihr habt hier nichts zu entscheiden! Das ist meine Aufgabe!".


Who wants to have leading personalities can't raise spoiled brats or work for all eternity according to the motto "That's none of your business! Go, get lost! You got nothing to decide in here! That's my task to do!".
matrixmann: (Thinking)
When an icon of one's suicidal youth commits suicide himself, then it's indeed an irony that life offers there.
But, thinking about it, what's it with a hero, where does this status end and where does he start to be only a human being again? With own problems, desires, flaws and personal weaknesses?
It's actually so very simple. So simple that one forgets about it when he looks up to someone.
Every hero that is like an icon to those with demons plaguing them inside, most often he fights some demons inside himself. Even when it's long past having your biggest battle with them, the fight goes on because, once developed, these demons never let you go again. Until the end of your life.
And so... it comes that even a hero might surrender them, although everyone of that kind of human logically knows it is nonsense to do so.
But sometimes you don't know how strong they are, how much a plague they are to the protagonist and how long he already kept fighting them - or how long he already kept running away from them.
It's tough to judge this from the outside - from the outside it's always a pretty easy job to do.
Much tougher it always is when judging it from the inside and taking note of one's abilities and capacities to overcome. How much he/she's caught up in the dependencies of his/her own life. And how much or less there's a way out of it what is plaguing someone.
In that point, even a hero is just a human...
And those things may press him to the wall until he's "about to break".
matrixmann: (Black suits comin')
"Which one of your oaths is the one more important to you?"
"Of course that oath to protect civil life from harm!"
"Then why don't you rebel against your superior when he just orders you to harm the people you swore to protect?!"
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
"You think, when you're out of school you're free, sonny? Oh, hell no! Then work life calls for you - and work life is only a continuation of what's been happening in school, only worse and even more strict. What you already were there, you gonna be also in your job life. If you were a loser, a slacker or a victim of your school mates' coping methods for boredom already there, then you gonna be the same among your colleagues. A really, really small cog in the clockwork...
The only way you'll not be forced to deal with this is when you happened to be born to an incredibly wealthy family or if you managed to become rich on your own before the day you leave school. Which is like zero probability.
So, don't even try to think you're a bigwig that gets his way."

Complex

30 June 2017 12:40 am
matrixmann: (Thinking)
"What most people do wrong in understanding politics and processes in society is: All things are interlinked. 5 threads or more inflict influence upon each other at the same time, and that's just only the present! Then add processes that are deeply linked and dependent on history to it.
Everything's as it is because of particular reasons - and the reasons are: The many complex threads of information that meet in one spot.
Trying to get a detailed overview constructed in one's head - like a map of a geographical area - about those actually is understanding the matter.
Unterstanding the matter is the base for developing the path to the future and preventing unwanted processes."
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Jemand, der dauernd nur auf andere aufpasst, muss nicht sich selbst ansehen.

Someone who only takes care of others all the time, he doesn't need to take a look at himself.

Manhunt

16 May 2017 07:50 am
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Brain stop!
What did you get me in this vexation?

You make me bad,
you bring me trouble,
counselors and schooling pack,
you make me double

The world is sane,
what I have to see
what I do is strange,
it's mocking me

(Break)

I deserve what's happening to me ("me" elongated)

Chorus:
Roaring folks behind me
and they call:
We hunt you, we gonna find you!
We eat you, we gonna whip you!
And if we have you, we gonna kill you!

Fresh start,
I could be happy in salvation!

Another view,
another life,
no troubles with you,
I'll stay alive

Friends are mine,
a mate for me,
family backs up my spine,
and I got jobs to be

They see right up the lie in me ("me" elongated)

(Break)

Chorus

Chorus2:
Bitch, you! - We gonna get you!
Hack you, we gonna grind you!
And set you, we gonna crush you!

(Instrumental passage of chorus music)

I can't
I bring it
To cherish my conviction
The sounds,
I'm sinning,
my brightest malediction,
you've found
I did it,
to serve this vile addiction

I could be happy in salvation...

Chorus

Chorus2

We hate you, we gonna stop you!
Pest, you! We gonna hang you!
And end you, we gonna shame you!

Oh, I'm the devil alive...

(longer instrumental passage; music the same as for introduction of verses)



Musical genre: Trance / Hardtrance (Electronic)

Cursive text: Annotations about music / vocals

Activist

4 March 2017 09:11 am
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
"...Human rights need to be preserved...!"
"Human rights - do you really know what this term means? Do you actually have an imagination in mind what it means when these are taken away from you? Do you fucking know what it means to daily awake in a cell, the guards clinging with their tonfas through the bars all over the jail and the first thing they do is beating you up before breakfast? Do you fucking know what it means to get raped three times a day by various people and they spit down on you, piss on you and laugh about you? Can you feel what it means to get played on and it's fun to your torturer to break your bones and see you scream? Do you have any idea how it feels inside to be exposed to the public, to get thrown dirt at and you know either when you don't do as the hosts say or not, the audience is gonna rip you to pieces? Can you feel how terrified you are in all these situations? Or when your Mom, 3 times taller than you, beats you up as a child and locks you in the dark basement as punishment for screaming from pain?
When you stand before a bunch of youngsters that wait to take the popcorn out of their pockets while you cut yourself, shout at them for teasing you everyday anew?"
"... ..."
"Before repeating this term over and over again, get the hell of aware what it actually means! It's not about democracy, freedom all these empurpled phrases! It's not about headscarfs and crosses, gender equality, and you being prefered for a job because you're a woman! It's not about something you can catalog and protect with paper and pencil or claim before a court!
It's about not waking up everyday and the first thing you experience is getting smacked in the face and treated like somebody's tool for pleasure! - when you walk on the street, you get shot for fucking nothing! when you try to be a man, but still get raped and molested because for some still you are a woman for all eternity!
Before you pamper around the next time about your wrong life decisions being "discrimination" or civilian death exists in war, think twice what you get excited about!
You go to university and even your parents pay your ass, some even need to kill to be able to go to school! Some even kill because of school, because it drives them mad!
You think you've seen something?! Fuck it, the only thing you've seen is your golden cage from the inside! And that's the way you act and think!"



Can be seen as a correction or addition to this one: https://matrixmann.dreamwidth.org/84431.html
matrixmann: (Ready)
Lifestyles open doors to certain life decisions. Some are incompatible with certain decisions. Some also don't contain certain decisions. Literally, it's not on that path to be put to choose for certain things.
But, in return, they also open up doors to decisions that other lifestyles don't contain. Which you wouldn't be able to make - or options to choose between wouldn't be put before you, if you took another path.
In figuring one's own way to live, that's the point one must comprehend.
You can't have everything; you can't live a life with a family while you rather feel well when fooling around. You can't imagine to have big assets if you don't have the ambition and the brains to aim for any higher goals at all. You also can't do a traveling circus and work everywhere abroad and far away while there's somebody at home waiting for you and depending on you. As well... you can't live your secret identities and still think you can go the common path of getting married, having children and living happily ever after like all the other people.
Some paths are not the straight paths - and that's what one needs to know.
But, as said, those paths which are not compliant with the straight paths, the usual paths in life, they also have their special advantages. Pathways and forks that don't open up to the others that took one of those straight paths. Experiences that they are not going to make.
Disappointments they'll make conversely won't necessarily be the ones you will make.

One needs to take it as the strange winks of life that it sometimes has, and which it doesn't choose for long who it'll force them upon. It just lets them rain down, and it'll ask from you either to deal with them or to go down trying to pretend to yourself that you can still do the way that all the other people do.
Society on that path an also pretend to you a lot that there are various possibilities to combine both ways, the straight and the unusual one, but think twice if this is even realistic.
Nothing is a combination of both paths if you have to convince all of your environment that the way you do it is not harmful to the kids you gonna have.
matrixmann: (Thinking)
"Be yourself somewhere else!" - "So then you want me to be a puppet, a servant to sey yes to everything that you voice and that you do in your life?"
matrixmann: (Thinking)
It's tough of a deal to watch comrades dying away, not being able to treat their wounds, to soothe their anger and hate, and to stop them from committing actions which prove to be senseless in the end...
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Be aware of old stuff being able to return. There can always be a case, even if you don't guess it.
It might not be like the first time, or the previous time when you had an encounter with it, but still you'll be faced with things you are somewhat familiar with and you might think that you exactly know where this road is going to get you at.
A big fail - be ready for surprises and be ready to take on things that you haven't seen before. Also, be ready for detours and for temptations and twists.
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Worin liegt der Schlüssel zur Boshaftigkeit?
...In dem Moment, wenn du begreifst, dass du jemandem oder etwas alles antun kannst, was du willst, und niemand kommt, um dich dafür zu bestrafen. Egal wie grausam, unfair, ekelhaft, pervers, verächtlich oder unmenschlich es auch sein mag.

Wherein lies the key to malignity?
...The moment when you realize you can do anything that you want to anyone or anything and there's no-one coming up to punish you for what you've done. No matter how cruel, unfair, disgusting, perverted, despicable or inhuman it may be.
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
"Fuck your celebrating of the 80s and Neue Deutsche Welle over and over again - as one of the most decadent decades that one has seen recently! One day you gonna do it with this decade too because remembering one of any of the others would make people discover intelligence and education again!"
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
"Your unconditional basic income is a nice idea, but here's the flaw in your system: It reestablishes how the old social benefits worked, but it doesn't change anything on the factor "prices". As well as that it doesn't change those facts that still each year it's the goal of all national economies to impress each other by proving how much percentage they can compile in attaching zeroes to the sums of the last year ( = GDP) and that the economy it ought to function in only can keep itself up by generating lots of fictional money that doesn't exist out of credits it didn't hand out to one customer, so it's whole self-asserted "growth" is nothing more than multiplying the sums that have originally been there before a few hundred, a few thousand years ago. In other terms: Not only you keep adjusting the sum each year, you also don't change anything that makes it so nessecary that this basic income needs to exist at all. You only make the circumstances takeable again. But that because you don't really know what you're trying to fight when you talk about "overcoming capitalism".
You're still one of those dreamy starry-eyed idealists that don't know how the world they live in really works."

September 2017

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