matrixmann: (Thinking)
When an icon of one's suicidal youth commits suicide himself, then it's indeed an irony that life offers there.
But, thinking about it, what's it with a hero, where does this status end and where does he start to be only a human being again? With own problems, desires, flaws and personal weaknesses?
It's actually so very simple. So simple that one forgets about it when he looks up to someone.
Every hero that is like an icon to those with demons plaguing them inside, most often he fights some demons inside himself. Even when it's long past having your biggest battle with them, the fight goes on because, once developed, these demons never let you go again. Until the end of your life.
And so... it comes that even a hero might surrender them, although everyone of that kind of human logically knows it is nonsense to do so.
But sometimes you don't know how strong they are, how much a plague they are to the protagonist and how long he already kept fighting them - or how long he already kept running away from them.
It's tough to judge this from the outside - from the outside it's always a pretty easy job to do.
Much tougher it always is when judging it from the inside and taking note of one's abilities and capacities to overcome. How much he/she's caught up in the dependencies of his/her own life. And how much or less there's a way out of it what is plaguing someone.
In that point, even a hero is just a human...
And those things may press him to the wall until he's "about to break".
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
"You think, when you're out of school you're free, sonny? Oh, hell no! Then work life calls for you - and work life is only a continuation of what's been happening in school, only worse and even more strict. What you already were there, you gonna be also in your job life. If you were a loser, a slacker or a victim of your school mates' coping methods for boredom already there, then you gonna be the same among your colleagues. A really, really small cog in the clockwork...
The only way you'll not be forced to deal with this is when you happened to be born to an incredibly wealthy family or if you managed to become rich on your own before the day you leave school. Which is like zero probability.
So, don't even try to think you're a bigwig that gets his way."
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
If developing the idea of mixed school year tuition in school even only on a federal level because there are not enough students to fill the year classes, does that mean you're a rich country?
matrixmann: (Somebody called me?)
I got no friends
and my family hates me too,
I ain't no best
and I basically fake me too,
day by day
I stare at screens because I dearly like it to,
fast food hay,
nothing special that I really like to do

(expression change)
Calls of duty,
fragrant beauty,
I hate my TV,
inet fucks me,
why don't I decide to die?

I got no job
and the center hates me too,
ain't no hot
but I take from you even though,
here we go,
nothing that I'm really useful for,
stranded emo,
I like to act like I am fucking sore

(expression change)
Beer and booze
to suck up my blues,
consume and regret
to make me forget,
why am I still being alive?

Today is the day I throw my life away,
all are dead, my parents in their bed,
I'm taking drugs to make me go numb,
let's film a movie to star me on TV,
you all go to hell...
I got my Uzis loaded

There's a bunch of clubs I can go to,
there's a bunch of clubs I can swear my oath to
Who is it today
that can steal my boredom away?
15 minutes of fame,
now that's what I wanna say!
A drip in life,
what's there more than to die?
(*click* Noise of a beer can opening, drinks a sip of it, then outpours it in a circle around himself)
Now set this on fire,
burn it and feel the spiky wire,
grind it and put it deep,
to hell with it, I don't wanna sleep!
Bring your warnings and I am that guy,
what?! A knife?!
I fucking wanted a last line!

I know I'll land in hell,
but don't you think it doesn't fit me well?
Nothing in life, nothing to strive
Let's make a party with blood and spine!

Today is the day I throw my life away,
all are dead, my parents in their bed,
I'm taking drugs to make me go numb,
let's film a movie to star me on TV,
you all go to hell...
I got my Uzis loaded

(sounds of plinking bottles and glass, gunshots, squeaking tires, car increasing speed)

Chorus repeat (after a while)

(new noises: people screaming, police sirens)

I got my Uzis loaded

(SMG fire)

I got my Uzis loaded

Musical genre: Hardstyle (Eectronic)

Disclaimer: No reference to living persons is being given. This text is not about existing grudges of the author, nor does it lay down a "plan" for future events or wishes for future events.
It is a parody close to cynicism. Megalomania about being a deadbeat, combined with the existence of a spoiled brat that doesn't know how too kill time in his life and therefore ends up getting flamingly mad and doing extreme things.
Hear that before you want to grab the receiver.
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Deaths of the big ones continue.
No-one to replace them.
Or just idealess whippersnappers which don't have the personality to leave behind a name or leave the world in chaos, turned upside down.
Profiles are scarce, direction too.
Ratcatchers come and go and celebrate one party after another.
People following them, don't know where to go.
Where to lean on.
Darkest days, darkest hours - one can only hope there's huge bright-shining ray of light to come to bring this to an end...
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
Pampering of young people needs to stop.
It's no miracle that, when they first get to hear a "No" not until when they're already grown up, that they feel it as a trauma.
Psychically, it even compares to that - because it's something that they're completely not used to in their own world. It smashes their whole view of the world, it's something not supposed to happen. They're completely unable to deal with that.
And that because they haven't gotten used to that life can also defeat their plans - that life even consists more of chronic "No"s than "Yes"s, like the joke "computer says no".
Some even try to avoid the consequences by manipulating the object back into the shape they can deal with, in order to get around the helplessness and the stun that it causes them.

One important question arising from this in a wider view: Is that what you can wish for to be the next generation elite? Some coddled babies that furiously can't get over it to hear someone saying "No" to their plans?
Do you wish for whole generations of people which are traumatized by a simple two-letter word, by a simple circumstance that so often happens in life that you can rather count the times when the opposite of it was the case?
What world do you want to build if the base for it is just as unprepared, unsuitable and unable to deal with life?

Not even to speak of how much that must be a torment even to them, realizing the world totally works different than they got to feel in the first two decades of their lives.
It renders all they learned before as obsolete and they've got to start from scratch to find a general rule in life quickly to somehow get along without a great amount of difficulties.
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
"Freedom" and "free travel" are just gifts to the young generation which don't know a world before this was visibly in effect, but they're just breadcrumbs to manipulate them, to get them in favor of that current system that reigns, to make them think if that is gone, they live in a dictatorship. Not even thirst, nor hunger, nor freezing, nor even finding any kind of clothes to keep you warm and protect you from bad weather should make them think they live in bad conditions, it should be that they can breathe no unfiltered air and that they can't spend money on whatever they want which they borrowed from banks anyway.
That way the system wants hold its position and even make sure that, if these young, spoiled and manipulated people that run aroud with twisted priorities in their heads don't get their will, they will become aggressive to take their will from anyone they perceive as standing in their way to get it. And that makes them vulnerable to extremist ideas to even kill people if only they get from the act what they wanted in the first place.


9 September 2016 05:34 am
matrixmann: (I see with the eyes of a hunter)
These days' youth gets the music it deserves. Uninspired, overly happy twenty-four seven, acting like the world's only a party, thinking there are no obstacles to come in the future - that's something only the rotten meat generation over thirty talks about -, and it's as lame to make you fall asleep - speed is an alien concept to it. While the musicians still manage to come up with a catchy tune, as much as that they're free from talent to deliver ambitious lyrics and an ordinary rhyme. So in the end, what they leave behind is an exceedingly kitschy tune with no message, nothing to dream about and nothing more of than what seems to be one of the negative kinds of ecstasy: The world is colored in rose, all is sunshine and happiness forever and for always, darkness is something that doesn't exist, not even in sound and it better shouldn't. Darkness is a cancer that should be erased ("it fucks up the good mood").

In that point, this youth gets the soundtrack that it deserves and where it's going to end at, one will see.

Previous antics:,,,,


17 July 2016 05:17 pm
matrixmann: (Thinking)
The bus stop turns into the youth club...
First love, first drink, maybe even first time getting physical. And lots of friends.
What has modern society to offer to its youngsters?
Living in sterile, mold-contamined, pimped up flats, celebrating their weekends in used up buildings whose purpose they know at the highest from when they were kids, offered consumer goods which they can never pay, jobs that don't exist and promises that never come into effect. On top, bags of clothes manifactured in the third world which they can cut and rearrange to show how run-down they are, and ugly hair-cuts which make them appear like they have some sort of problems.
Education somewhat is an alien concept, both in the way of knowledge about the world and emotional development.
They get handed a lot of toys and tools to get paid the time their parents haven't spend with them, but can't make up for the deep nothing they perceive.
Sold out worlds, they long for destruction, for the destination that remains for when there's no task for you or your body is plagued by diseases. Diseases the parents thought about in their selfishness "they will be able to get along with that". And they keep wondering why these kids in their selfishness for exstasy beget another aimless generation of kids accidently...
On the other hand, education in the form of learning in excess for those who can pay for it. Planning of futures until the age of 40, orchestrated and without a doubt that anything can come in between this. No guess of what poverty means, what deprivations means, not even that it exists at all or what life-threatening circumstances could be. A bubble which nothing goes wrong within.
In the end, the planning also reveals its shallowness: Getting education, getting jobs, founding families, reproduce, buying houses, buying cars - running around and following the established role model, without a thought for a deeper meaning, just as trying to get drunk and loitering around in derelict houses and on the streets. It's about running away and clouding your mind.
The middle class youngsters ignore in their planning, that their kids are going to have to fight even harder for getting jobs as there is limitation in this, so it is also done in a manner of feeding your ego, numbing your mind to prevent to understand something.
Whereas the kids which grow up in poverty rather get their kids unvoluntarily and suddenly start to get those dreams of a idyllic world that isn't reachable for them. If they do not turn out in the end to abandon them, to show them the true face of what their existence already is: Superfluous.


14 June 2016 08:42 am
matrixmann: (Thinking)
Many years ago, it was a craze to want to create a bloodbath at your school.
Today, you pledge allegiance to another group to go out killing lots of people.
Ask somebody who survived that first time and he'll tell you: "We had this all before. You're nothing special."
matrixmann: (Black suits comin')
Zombie squadron is ready,
there is nothing to lose
Intoxicated -
that is the way we choose,
brainless mindfuck -
formed by Mum and Daddy

We had all or we had nothing,
nobody taught us, so all we know is bumming,
they tell us to fuck off,
but got nothing in exchange,
they turn feelings off
and think we rearrange,
they never took care,
and now they tell they scare

You left us alone, but
all the things go on,
we learned to survive, odds
that we can go along
are vanishingly low and we - can't - give -
what you liked to see
we - are - mist -
the void's right inside of me!

The regiment stands,
gun in the hands, shot in the head,
the minds are washed,
drugged to numbness, promises sent
On a crusade,
our lives will end,
the lord is in change,
but the mission - no amendment,
no aim to live for,
lost in this world,
deception forevermore,
we destroy your every word

Show us the way to paradise
Show us the way to paradise

Death squadron is ready,
there is nothing to lose
Fully blinded -
the way you drove us to,
naive and small-minded -
formed by society

We gave all or we gave nothing,
nobody called us, so all we know is taking,
they tell us to fuck off,
but complain when we're gone,
they turn us the juice off
and think with it it's done,
they never took care
and now they tell we're nightmares

You left us alone, but
the kids showed they were not dumb,
we learned to survive, odds
that we still turn around
are vanishingly low as you - didn't - give -
anything to be,
we - are - mist -
the void's right inside of me!

On the bottom of things,
society dropped us,
and that's how we came to this,
it gave us no jobs, but
illusions how we gain a bit,
with nothing in hand
they know how we can never be,
they - know - how - we - get - stuck - in - sand,
fucking abusing me!
They - know - how - we - have - no - chance,
all day lied to me!

Shoot me the way to paradise!
I wanna die - for a better life!

This is a piece of occasional art. No personal incentives linked to it. Hence the tag "story writing".

Musical genre: Electronic

matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
Spectator to a person's life you have once known.
A small house with garden, green in the back as well as in the front. A big chestnut tree in the backyard on the border to the property of the neighboring yard, some children's toys can be seen lying in the grass.
All looks fine and clean and well-maintained.
The car can be found in the carport or parking nearby in the street. It's a pretty recent type, and even not a poorly one, probably it's purchased on credit.
Sure somebody most earn a lot to afford this...
Looking into the deep, you recognize his father's house besides next to it. The maintaining looks similar to it. Only the backyard is greater, there's more property that can be seen due to age and time working, being able to acquire belongings.
Memories of a few years earlier cross the mind... Comparing them to what you find in the present, it raises a waterfall of questions.
How did that come? How did somebody embrace the bourgeois lifestyle who once spoke pretty much against it?
What has happened in the meantime?
It's like a nightmare coming true and a manifestation of what people always warn you about.
Does that mean what it's always called like "getting older"? Do all people, when they age, bury their ideals, or were these ideals serious at all? A phenomenon of puberty?

Does it make you happy living the same life as your father, working for your father?
Does it make you happy being bound by a wife, being bound by a child and by all that stuff that you call your own?
Did you finish school with higher graduation just to end up in the same town like your parents, living next door to them? Gaining profit from what they have built up during their lives?
Where did your talking stay about wanting to make the world a better place? Where does someone see your political intelligence now?
Or did you just surrender to the impression that it doesn't matter what you do?
Have you realized your lifestyle is costly?

Or did you believe in it for a time and now you're trapped in a cage and you don't know the way out? You keep going on because other doors are closed to you?

It rather seems implausible that a once starry-eyed idealist can be happy in a life like this.
matrixmann: (Wasteland Ranger)
"Egoshooting" als ein anderer Begriff für "Selfies machen" - hoffentlich verwechselt das nicht mal jemand bei einer Verabredung mit einem Spielabend Counterstrike...
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
Deutsche Kultur - welche deutsche Kultur? Etwa die amerikanischen Fernsehserien, die du dir ansiehst?
Die amerikanische Musik, die du dir anhörst? Oder die amerikanischen Markenprodukte, die du konsumierst?
Schreist "Rettung der deutschen Kultur" und regst dich nicht einmal über die letzte Rechtschreibreform auf. Oder dass außer Krimis und Telenovelas nichts ursprünglich deutsches mehr im Fernsehen läuft.
Kennst wahrscheinlich nicht einmal die letzten zwei Bundespräsidenten vor dem aktuellen Amtsinhaber.
Wenn jemand das Wort "Schiller" erwähnt, dann winkst du ab und liest doch lieber deine Mangas.
Statt dich bei deinem lokalen Radiosender zu beschweren, dass außer deutschem Schlager keine deutschsprachige Musik gespielt wird, schwenkst du lieber deine Fahne und erzählst von großem Partriotismus und wie sehr du Deutschland liebst. Beschwörst große Formeln und Zaubersprüche wie wichtig es dir ist, und letztes Jahr war es das noch nicht. Wenn dein Land dich zum Kriegsdienst rufen würde, würdest du dich noch als erster im Keller verstecken.
Weißt du wie man das nennt? Das ist nicht besser wie die, die ihre Fahne zu einer Fußball-WM entdecken.
Aus dem Alter für solche Spielchen wächst man heraus, spätestens wenn man Anfang zwanzig wird.
Nur für Jugendliche ist es wichtig, zu einer Gruppe dazu zu gehören, dass sie dafür alles tun würden.
Bevor du große Sprüche klopfst, fang an, dich um Dinge zu kümmern, die du ohne das Schwert lösen kannst. Wenn dir das zu langweilig ist, dann war es wohl nichts mit der Wichtigkeit.
Sie war nur ein Filter auf deinem Objektiv.
matrixmann: (Wasteland Ranger)
Tranlation of this one:

A theory:

If they talk about "skilled worker shortage", (big) factories don't mean the term in the classical sense. According to the theoretical rules of the market, if they get fulfilled as the concept demands it, the payments for the workers in the affected branches must skyrocket exorbitantly - because the employer must be happy that someone does the job at all at his site. But the opposite is reality - even though socially as well as in small factories they register that potential apprentices and school-leavers come with way inadequate education and personally they're way too immature to fall in to work life.
"Shortage of skilled workers" you could call it therefore as the circumstance when an employer doesn't make it to convince five people to work for the payment of three. They would employ more workers if they didn't need to spend more money than before.
In certain sectors a shortage exists realistically, but nobody is willing to employ a few more people as soon as the positions of their predecessors have been left empty for a longer time.
matrixmann: (Wasteland Ranger)
Eine Theorie:

Wenn von "Fachkräftemangel" die Rede ist, meinen die (großen) Betriebe diesen Begriff nicht im klassischen Sinne. Nach theoretischen Marktregeln, wenn sie laut Konzept erfüllt würden, müssten in den betroffenen Branchen die Löhne für die bereits Beschäftigten exorbitant in die Höhe schießen - weil der Arbeitgeber froh sein muss, dass überhaupt jemand den Job bei ihm macht. Das Gegenteil ist der Fall - obwohl gesellschaftlich als auch in den kleineren Betrieben zu verzeichnen ist, dass potentielle Auszubildende und Schulabgänger eine ungenügende Schulbildung haben und persönlich viel zu unreif sind, um ihren Gang in das Arbeitsleben anzutreten.
"Fachkräftemangel" könnte man daher als das bezeichnen, wenn ein Arbeitgeber es nicht schafft, fünf Leute davon zu überzeugen, für den Lohn von dreien zu arbeiten. Sie würden mehr Arbeiter beschäftigen, wenn sie dafür nicht mehr Geld als vorher ausgeben müssten.
Ein Mangel in bestimmten Branchen besteht, es ist aber niemand bereit, ein paar Leute mehr einzustellen, sobald die Stellen derer Vorgänger für eine längere Zeit weggefallen sind.
matrixmann: (Wasteland Ranger)
Long lost youth, searching for a meaning in life, searching for a purpose what they should do with their time, hopeless, unemployed, educated and uneducated, seeking for the big money, seeking for life, for a bit of easygoingness, seeking participation, codetermination, a world which doesn't get them the feeling they're unwanted and superfluous and that it matters what they do.
If you want to take control of this and prevent them from going on a pilgrimage after a ratcather, you've got to be the ratcatcher yourself.
matrixmann: (Wasteland Ranger)
Sometimes, contrary to the assumption that only youngsters internalized the capitalistic agenda and its cultural and behavoiral consequences, because they didn't got to know another set of culture, you realize how much people in their middle ages took it in and made it part of themselves. Even though they may be capable to know different times and even a different kind of culture.
They're masters of marketing, of pretending to yourself that everything's fine although water's already at their chin, they're good at presenting prosperity to you even though they live on loan or are near the point of being broke - families maybe aren't whole, but on the other hand they struggle with themselves to let go of dysfunctional relationships, and if there is no current fight on the spot, they manage act convincingly to you like everything is just as always.
One wonders what has happened to these people?
As before they were able to adapt to a different culture too in the same energetic way they have adapted to the current one. Sometimes they even curse about it that the other culture now is past.
But they remain ready, willing and function even in their private contacts like the culture they needed to adapt to?
For business and job it was a necessity to do so because who doesn't gets dropped off the boat - but if they continue to do so even in their private lives where you had the possibility to act differently, even if you count phenomenas into the bill that being forced to be a certain way also affects other aspects of life, you've got to take it as a certainty that they had some sort of base for that current bahvior within themselves all along.
matrixmann: (Wasteland Ranger)
Lützenkirchen's "3 Tage wach" - didn't hear that for a long time. But maybe that's just a coincidence just as listening by the half-open window to which music a car of youngsters plays outside in the parking lot and discovering it's Alex Christensen's homage to the "Sweetest ass in the world" (Original: Du hast den schönsten Arsch in der Welt).
One wonders where do youngsters get to know this trash... And why other stuff completely seems to pass them by.
Next time they come around the corner with "Nein, Mann!" by Laserkraft 3D.
matrixmann: (Wasteland Ranger)
Gangsta rap as the protest culture of young people still doesn't seem to die out...

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