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matrixmannWhen children are small, but in that age to be sparked to question, to ask for things and to research, nowadays parents are too annoyed and too exhausted to meet the needs of those 'cause they've been totally worn out by work life and all the other duties that pull on them beside this that make out the way adults live like.
As soon as they're teens, suddenly their parents and all other adults start to complain about why they have so much fun being stupid and rejecting everything that has to do with school or learning. Also including disobeying the simplest commands and running away from an obstacle or trouble whenever they can.
If someone is annoyed by this himself, he should better ask himself the question: What did I do to make this kid behave like this to me?
When I'm constantly pushed away, how long do I go on fighting for someone to earn his favor?
Children have an intelligence on their own indeed, but they're no malicious creatures by origin.
When they grow older, eventually when they reach the stage of puberty, they only reflect the behavior they have once been treated with in the first decade of their lives. They only adapted to the desires and characters their primary caregivers have imposed on them.
Having finished that first decade, their adaption reaches the professional level and they'd suit perfectly to the needs that their caregivers once pushed them to suit for.
But now the expectations of the outside change again - and that adaption suddenly doesn't suit anymore, after it's become a master of it.
So, when in confusion about that, they show the rest of behavior patterns that they learned from their caregivers and try to get away with it. Eventually, as they were small, those pattens worked too, didn't they?
And now suddenly, our adults and especially parents create a drama about it, like all of that comes out of the blue. Like so much creativity is given to a child by creation to act like this.
If you're disturbed and annoyed by that behavior, better ask: How did you behave to the child as it was in need of you? Were you there? Did you run away, when everything became too much for you? Not enough the fun?
Did you start to scream, just to have your peace? Did you feed your child with food or expensive stuff, so that it leaves you alone? Did you say to him "here, go play with the smart phone"?
Or were you there at all - busy with work most of the time?
If asking about why kids become this way, one needs to look at what is the frame made of they're kept in. Do they get what they need? Are their caregivers able to give them what they need?
Do the caregivers actually have time for giving that to them??
Or are they too exhausted to suit the proper needs to make their child a future professor?
If only put in the position of a parent who can't fight back much against the circumstances pressuring from the outside: Do you really need all that material needs that you took upon your name, paying credits for it and all that? Did you rather want to work on a dreamy story and ignore what the reality is?
Did you think, acting rich on the outside is all what's going to get your kids a better position in the hierarchy? A better life - full of bliss and happiness?
What matters to you when they're small, that's what's going to matter to them in the future when they're about to step into your position.
If you keep pumping crap and the wrong priorities into them, then they're going to reflect them back to you, once they're able to do so without your consent.
And - pay attention, society! - not only your own. Also those wrong priorities that others taught them what is the "human standard".
As soon as they're teens, suddenly their parents and all other adults start to complain about why they have so much fun being stupid and rejecting everything that has to do with school or learning. Also including disobeying the simplest commands and running away from an obstacle or trouble whenever they can.
If someone is annoyed by this himself, he should better ask himself the question: What did I do to make this kid behave like this to me?
When I'm constantly pushed away, how long do I go on fighting for someone to earn his favor?
Children have an intelligence on their own indeed, but they're no malicious creatures by origin.
When they grow older, eventually when they reach the stage of puberty, they only reflect the behavior they have once been treated with in the first decade of their lives. They only adapted to the desires and characters their primary caregivers have imposed on them.
Having finished that first decade, their adaption reaches the professional level and they'd suit perfectly to the needs that their caregivers once pushed them to suit for.
But now the expectations of the outside change again - and that adaption suddenly doesn't suit anymore, after it's become a master of it.
So, when in confusion about that, they show the rest of behavior patterns that they learned from their caregivers and try to get away with it. Eventually, as they were small, those pattens worked too, didn't they?
And now suddenly, our adults and especially parents create a drama about it, like all of that comes out of the blue. Like so much creativity is given to a child by creation to act like this.
If you're disturbed and annoyed by that behavior, better ask: How did you behave to the child as it was in need of you? Were you there? Did you run away, when everything became too much for you? Not enough the fun?
Did you start to scream, just to have your peace? Did you feed your child with food or expensive stuff, so that it leaves you alone? Did you say to him "here, go play with the smart phone"?
Or were you there at all - busy with work most of the time?
If asking about why kids become this way, one needs to look at what is the frame made of they're kept in. Do they get what they need? Are their caregivers able to give them what they need?
Do the caregivers actually have time for giving that to them??
Or are they too exhausted to suit the proper needs to make their child a future professor?
If only put in the position of a parent who can't fight back much against the circumstances pressuring from the outside: Do you really need all that material needs that you took upon your name, paying credits for it and all that? Did you rather want to work on a dreamy story and ignore what the reality is?
Did you think, acting rich on the outside is all what's going to get your kids a better position in the hierarchy? A better life - full of bliss and happiness?
What matters to you when they're small, that's what's going to matter to them in the future when they're about to step into your position.
If you keep pumping crap and the wrong priorities into them, then they're going to reflect them back to you, once they're able to do so without your consent.
And - pay attention, society! - not only your own. Also those wrong priorities that others taught them what is the "human standard".
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(no subject)
Date: 9 October 2017 05:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9 October 2017 09:01 pm (UTC)The younger a kid is, the more highly willing and able to connect are the nerve cells in its brain. One doesn't even really believe it how quick that goes.
Basic things that you don't establish in a rudimental pattern there, are things the kids are going to have problems with even in their adult age. This is valid for cognitive skills as well as regulation of emotions (and other mental skills).
I think, best example to mention for this is, when a child as eyes with different qualities to see.
The trick the doctors do is that they mask the good eye until the kid is about 5 years old. Reason is: The brain only works with the best pictures it can get. In the long term, it would lead to the child becoming blind of the eye whose abilities are worse.
If you cover the good eye, the brain is forced to do connections with the nerve cells of the worse one - and up until the age of five, it's enough the connected cells so that this effect wouldn't take place anymore.
In the frame of until the age of five... Think about it. That's really tough.
You can even go that far with that to theorize "Do the dyslexic / people with dyscalculia really have a birth defect or do they get born into an enviroment which is so poor in stimulating these areas of the cognitive intelligence, so that they atrophy as much like that?".
Think, this year I even heard about a study done with babies and the really early toddler age (up to year 2) - and they did that 'cause they wanted to know how much does that age already play a role in kids learning skills, especially mental skills and skills to regulate their own emotions.
Results were really fatal. Even though people guess, babies only eat and sleep, they DO already learn then.
Babies and toddlers growing up in enviroments whose mean features are hectic or stress (and the parents being part of this), they already start to show signs of that when they're about one and a half year old. In that form that they have problems to calm themselves down, to regulate their own basic emotions that babies and toddlers already are capable of; they already put it as a possible idea into the game that children could already develop ADHD in that age, when they grow up like this.
This result was even much a surprise to those who did the study.
Basically I even remember this from the psychological things I learned by reading; only these days I count it much more together with the neurological development. And this part is hell of shit.
(Even though, "neuroplasticity" should also been known and regarded for people who are already grown up and in an age where the capabilities of the brain previously were talked down quite a bit, even by the common people themselves.)
(no subject)
Date: 10 October 2017 12:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10 October 2017 02:17 pm (UTC)Saying, it's not like you couldn't correct anything by exposing kids to better circumstances in that age, but still it's noticeable that they didn't have these around them since the beginning.
Like, you'll get out somebody with a decent cognitive intelligence, but perhaps he'll remain somebody who catches up later, always gets things some time after the age kids regularly learn those things in.