Life decisions
6 February 2017 10:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matrixmannLifestyles open doors to certain life decisions. Some are incompatible with certain decisions. Some also don't contain certain decisions. Literally, it's not on that path to be put to choose for certain things.
But, in return, they also open up doors to decisions that other lifestyles don't contain. Which you wouldn't be able to make - or options to choose between wouldn't be put before you, if you took another path.
In figuring one's own way to live, that's the point one must comprehend.
You can't have everything; you can't live a life with a family while you rather feel well when fooling around. You can't imagine to have big assets if you don't have the ambition and the brains to aim for any higher goals at all. You also can't do a traveling circus and work everywhere abroad and far away while there's somebody at home waiting for you and depending on you. As well... you can't live your secret identities and still think you can go the common path of getting married, having children and living happily ever after like all the other people.
Some paths are not the straight paths - and that's what one needs to know.
But, as said, those paths which are not compliant with the straight paths, the usual paths in life, they also have their special advantages. Pathways and forks that don't open up to the others that took one of those straight paths. Experiences that they are not going to make.
Disappointments they'll make conversely won't necessarily be the ones you will make.
One needs to take it as the strange winks of life that it sometimes has, and which it doesn't choose for long who it'll force them upon. It just lets them rain down, and it'll ask from you either to deal with them or to go down trying to pretend to yourself that you can still do the way that all the other people do.
Society on that path an also pretend to you a lot that there are various possibilities to combine both ways, the straight and the unusual one, but think twice if this is even realistic.
Nothing is a combination of both paths if you have to convince all of your environment that the way you do it is not harmful to the kids you gonna have.
But, in return, they also open up doors to decisions that other lifestyles don't contain. Which you wouldn't be able to make - or options to choose between wouldn't be put before you, if you took another path.
In figuring one's own way to live, that's the point one must comprehend.
You can't have everything; you can't live a life with a family while you rather feel well when fooling around. You can't imagine to have big assets if you don't have the ambition and the brains to aim for any higher goals at all. You also can't do a traveling circus and work everywhere abroad and far away while there's somebody at home waiting for you and depending on you. As well... you can't live your secret identities and still think you can go the common path of getting married, having children and living happily ever after like all the other people.
Some paths are not the straight paths - and that's what one needs to know.
But, as said, those paths which are not compliant with the straight paths, the usual paths in life, they also have their special advantages. Pathways and forks that don't open up to the others that took one of those straight paths. Experiences that they are not going to make.
Disappointments they'll make conversely won't necessarily be the ones you will make.
One needs to take it as the strange winks of life that it sometimes has, and which it doesn't choose for long who it'll force them upon. It just lets them rain down, and it'll ask from you either to deal with them or to go down trying to pretend to yourself that you can still do the way that all the other people do.
Society on that path an also pretend to you a lot that there are various possibilities to combine both ways, the straight and the unusual one, but think twice if this is even realistic.
Nothing is a combination of both paths if you have to convince all of your environment that the way you do it is not harmful to the kids you gonna have.
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(no subject)
Date: 7 February 2017 03:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 7 February 2017 09:25 am (UTC)I even think of the lifeforms of normal people.
This world keeps telling and suggesting to you like all shapes of life can be combined with each other. Like, you can be gay, but still have a soccer team of children as your own. That's a lie. Unless somebody of a partnership like this once had relationships with women that resulted in kids, this is not possible by natural causes.
Well, then some people might say "You can adopt a lot of kids!" - in the basic sense, I'd think it is better for kids to be raised by any kind of people that take the function of "parents" than remaining without that resort they can always return to. This also includes same-sex couples.
What I only get to wrangle with is this suggestion that you receive in the subtext these days "all same-sex couples should have children and be the classic two-people-relationship like all heterosexual couples". I think that is a wrong path.
As it just remains what it is, under natural circumstances it needs males and females to create this image in reality.
I think even this artificial pushing of this thing with in vitro fertilization and surrogacy is the wrong way 'cause it generates something that naturally wouldn't exist, unless a man once sleeps with a woman for that purpose or a woman sleeps with a man.
Instead of trying to achieve these things which are only possible due to (expensive) modern medicine, I'd rather be for stopping for a moment and thinking twice. Asking oneself "Why do you want all this? Is this really your way or a way society tells you it should be like?".
Conventional couples met with that fate that they can't get any kids of their own, this situation also applies to. In the basic sense, even everyone. "Why you wanna do all this to you?"
And in that moment, thinking about it, I'd say "Who says that you need to suffice that? That shit wouldn't even be possible without the help that humans created. But one door closes, another one opens. You can take a different path than this. You have the possibility to. Only thing you need to do is grow up and deal with realities instead of living in some dreamy fairytale world where it's still possible that the little child in you gets all the satisfaction to its wants."
As said, this also applies to people in other life situations.
"Why do you need to?" You don't need to brawl for being able to walk all paths.
I think it is some kind of maintaining the little naive child inside which wants to get all the sweets in the sweets shop. The technical opportunities of these days keep fostering that, for the bad. People don't sit down, be quiet and think of dealing with it for a moment that some paths in life are just closed to them.
Instead, they rather go out and fight the world to still get all the sweets because there's something suggesting it to them 24/7 that they can.
But I think, not even is this not right, also it generates a wrong image of what the world actually is like. People don't get to wake up, be adults and deal with things being denied to them by life and accident. And this image of reality anytime becomes toxic - for those which don't want to say goodbye to these dreams of "their" lives, but also for those that are involved in it in a wider circle.
For gay couples, e. g. , that want whole soccer teams of children it's going to be just these. At the latest when every child learns how human reproduction works it is destined to understand that there's something different with the family it has as its own. And not every child takes it as lightly - that's what you don't know by its birth.
Mostly they even get to face that fact before 'cause there will always be other children that point it out to you that you got two daddies / two mommies. And if that quick being an outsider in peer groups of other children is that good, I just doubt it.
Remember: Every child deals with a thing in its own way. It cannot be predicted by its birth how it's going to react when the time comes.
And that's the part that should get every responsible adult thinking in his decisions.
I don't regard this as backwards thinking, I think it is just going through things like a responsible adult that doesn't want to make others miserable that depend on him by the decisions he makes.