Fear

19 August 2017 06:19 pm
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
"I'm not afraid...!"
"So then, what is it that you do the next time a guy with an assault rifle in his arms appears somewhere near you?! Staying there and trying to stop him?!
No, you run away like the last time and all other times before!
That's what is called FEAR!
So, don't try to tell me shit!"

Mourn

15 August 2017 06:05 pm
matrixmann: (Thinking)
We met
in a place where you don't get,
doubting souls,
not accepting the way the world all spins around,
thunderbolt,
united by someone's death, apprentice hounds,
young and naive,
different, but still same species

But then
came darkened clouds,
one holy day,
shady, proud,
one drove us away,
with him came fiends,
so dark you don't want to meet them at night,
robbed all the sense,
split all everything in fights

(Break)

Chorus:
Ever since then...
Never again
words of "you're okay",
"you are right",
"don't let them get you!",
"they all don't understand",
scattered into all directions,
it took out all the kind connections,
lost a voice,
lost a belief,
today all live everywhere
and nowhere

Sometimes
you don't know
was it intend or accident?
That effect,
kids all ripped themselves to rags!
Someone playing insect,
threatening his opponents,
what did they do?
Seemingly catch the wrath of his true path!

Just for that,
he punished us all,
holy crusade,
acting tall,
swung 'round the blade,
deviation not in his concept,
when all was destroyed,
he fucked off in his own little place,
leaving with all his unalloyed!

(Break)

Chorus

(in powerful voice; more aggressive synth, 1st line sung, 2nd one spoken/shouted in turns):

Don't tell me it wasn't the purpose
in the first place!
Don't tell me it didn't benefit
anything in the big space!

(4/4 beat setting in)

Something going hot topic,
superiors silencing you,
people finding the logic,
infecting other people too,
on the verge of an audience
and then, bursting the zoo?

Don't tell me it doesn't look like it...
Don't tell me it doesn't look like it...

(Break)

2 x Chorus

(whispered while ending music):
Wherever you are...



Musical genre: past 2005 Progressive House, Hard Trance (Electronic)

Fat text - Voice goes up, becomes more powerful
Cursive text - Annotations about the music / vocals

This song was written for a male voice.
matrixmann: (Black suits comin')
What I said
and what I haven't said,
I'm not here to steal your identity,
I'm here to correct it,
as five plus five don't equal eighty-nine,
so you shall not spread that one thing is this,
while it's always been that,
and in fact it was this all along from the beginning,
you shall not teach the vulnerable about demons and angels,
you shall just tell them the truth,
and when it means acting against your identity,
well, what identity was it then anyway?

A criticism is not on offense to who you are,
it is being critical against an aspect of it,
and if it is offensive, what fragile legs does it stand upon then?
Does it hold a real storm?
No, that's only possible,
if identity doesn't become doctrine.
"Here, come, adopt my identity!", or you'll be my entire foe,
that says everything how it is with openness for real.
Black or white, whole or not, all or nothing,
that's a pattern infants think alike.
I didn't know that infants can vote
or shape the culture society worships.
matrixmann: (Default)
...The very feeling belonging nowhere, being caught between two chairs, knowing no place you can go to, always the same phrases again your ideas are not desired, you think the wrong way, look at things the wrong way, all of the rest of the world does his own thing without asking you for your opinion, presenting you with a fait accompli all too often, and simply there's nothing you can feel routed to, believe in and just take as it is?
And you think, that homelessness can be filled with a party, with an elite club, with money, with sex, with entertainment, with things you can own, with children you procreate, with people you save, with sacrifice you practice daily, with consuming all that your mouth can find, with hate, with calling your mother soil the greatest country in the world, with waving your hands for a pop star, with religion, with humility and doing all kinds of things people tell you to do?
Don't be a fool! The loss is never going to disappear, no matter what you try to fill that hole with!
You can eat a thousand drugs and pretend ten thousand tons of stuff to your mind, still that wound will remain and it'll continue to bleed endlessly! You feel it in your every cell of your body!
Nothing can cover or change the situation living in a world that constantly says "Fuck off!" to you and "Your survival is none of my business!", unless should you fuck destiny back!
There's no deliverance from it, no relief, and no outer entity can make it disappear!
All that you try to make you forget is just temporary stuff - one year it's one thing, the next it's the other and another measure in the third year, all your life long!
Once you've become, you'll always remain the loner, solitude, a wanderer; all that crap telling you it can revoke that, it's a lie!
Better get a grip on it and learn to endure it every day instead of running after ratcatcher after ratcather that doesn't really make you happy permanently!



Something else suitable: https://matrixmann.dreamwidth.org/17000.html
matrixmann: (Yuber Suikoden I)
Wer Führungspersönlichkeiten haben will, kann nicht unmündige Bälger heranziehen oder ewig nach der Devise arbeiten "Das geht euch nichts an! Macht, dass ihr wegkommt! Ihr habt hier nichts zu entscheiden! Das ist meine Aufgabe!".


Who wants to have leading personalities can't raise spoiled brats or work for all eternity according to the motto "That's none of your business! Go, get lost! You got nothing to decide in here! That's my task to do!".
matrixmann: (I see with the eyes of a hunter)
Long working hours and long range distances to drive steal quite a chunk of time from one's normal daytime to live.
Cooking and preparing of meals made with fresh ingredients take a bit of time too, so it's a question of: What do you want more? Sleeping or eating healthy?
Pretty often it's sleep what people "decide" for. Not only decide, but their bodies barely leave them a choice. Being worked down and tired is a thing that can't be overcome except for if you dope the body to strength and alert levels that it naturally only has when danger looms.
But your body doesn't have the energy left to play scenario "danger" every day, so it's going to decide for sleep in the long term development.
So, what will you do with your hunger which is present at the same time?
Yes, grab things that don't take much time to prepare. If you can even skip the whole preparation-process, your mind will decide to take those foods which can be consumed quickly. Those without requiring much effort from the state "ready to eat" to getting them down your throat.
So you have one more hour to rest.
If you'd need to prepare all your food after work still so that you can eat it, which time of the day you still wanted to get some sleep? After all those long working hours, long ways home and the irregular callings "Quick! You gotta come! Someone else didn't come to work, you need to compensate!"? You never really have time to take care of proper nutrition of yours. Not even to speak of the energy that's missing on you. That's why societies that rely on such a model for work literally are in need of such processed junk foods. Time for hand-making is not there, but food consumption still remains a vital interest of the human body to go on existing.
So they think of adding everything to the food prepackaged, that people (workers) can enjoy full supply with nutrients without still needing to bring in much effort themselves.
But, the chemicals and additives they put into the food to get it ready to eat and prolong the decay of the meals, in the end, prove more harmful to human health than they do good.
In other words: Those chemically boosted foods are none the better than if you ate an apple with a drip of sauce made of sulfuric acid.
matrixmann: (Thinking)
The Matrix is something that is real.
No, you're not stuck in a computer game wired onto you for your life, so you don't notice you're a battery for a machine.

All that you believe in, all that you think is right and wrong, all correlations that exist materially between one and another thing, that is The Matrix.
The way you got taught the path functions like, the way your mind thinks, based on these lessons and experiences, the way the world works like, and the way you believe - loosely based or even melt with these thoughts - the world functions like.
In other words: The imagination in your brain that you have about the world. That is The Matrix. The REAL one.
You don't even need a computer simulation for that as your brain is already capable enough of fooling itself and keeping itself in a dream world that is not as the reality is like.

Materially spoken, this equals as if you believe in gravity and that humans can't jump a 100 meters far, just like in the movie. Only with the difference: The reality surrounds you even though, dictates the base for the impressions your senses make. You can try if the belief in gravity is nonsense, but if it's there, it's gonna strike you dead even though. There is no computer simulation between you and the reality that feels real, but isn't.
The belief in nonsense is gonna bring up consequences for you right away. There's no second try or "Wanna continue?"-question. Dead is dead.

Speaking in terms of which the reality is full of virtual constructs that create a Matrix in your head that exists unconnected to the reality, that becomes a virtual dream world like in the movie,
it's, for example, if the doctor tells you that the pills help, but you feel more and more physically miserable. If you think, in plundering and destroying a supermarket you harm the big players in capitalism. If you assume that hard work alone makes you become someone someday.
Or, if you believe that buying things make you happy. If you think owning a house and a fat car, a spouse and children adding to that, are the universal recipe to make everyone happy. At all, if you think that it's perfectly normal that all people need to be married when they're 30, and so you need to be too. If you think every follower of a religion must wear the visible symbols of this religion just to be a member of this belief.

All of these things that you assume to be true without asking, create The Matrix for your head. The virtual reality you live in, the world which you think is true, but that is only like a full-scale computer simulation.

If you want to awake from it, want to know what is real now and what not, consider: There's no-one like Morpheus who can tell you that this overall thing you got running in your head is a lie. That there is some other reality and this is the one you can hold onto because it's real.
Even reality is only what people discover to be factually wrong, the way it was previously assumed.
There is a lot of factually-based recognitions that can help guiding you on your way, which you can trust because they've been proven to work this way, but it's not like all of reality has been cleared that way already.
In your search for a world whose concept is logic again, you've gotta walk many ways and open up your senses.
The famous question "Why do my eyes hurt?" - "Because you've never used them before." remains vital for all of your existence. And you can't always choose which one becomes the bitter truth for your life. If you got a deadly disease or cancer, you can't also choose to just have a stomach ulcer, can you?

The Matrix is... the cage you lock your own mind in. The prison you set for your own thoughts and feelings. The factual truth that you don't want to see - as well as the weird fantasy you declare for yourself to be true, even though it isn't.

The way out of this is... observing what happens to the left and to the right of yours. Going researching on your own. Wanting to know things exactly. Accepting at all, when something you got taught to be a certain way, is totally wrong factually.
When you don't want to stay with what you've been given as information from the world.
If you notice, things aren't correct that way you got told, and you don't decide for ignoring or blaming yourself for not understanding it or not being able to fit in.
matrixmann: (Thinking)
When an icon of one's suicidal youth commits suicide himself, then it's indeed an irony that life offers there.
But, thinking about it, what's it with a hero, where does this status end and where does he start to be only a human being again? With own problems, desires, flaws and personal weaknesses?
It's actually so very simple. So simple that one forgets about it when he looks up to someone.
Every hero that is like an icon to those with demons plaguing them inside, most often he fights some demons inside himself. Even when it's long past having your biggest battle with them, the fight goes on because, once developed, these demons never let you go again. Until the end of your life.
And so... it comes that even a hero might surrender them, although everyone of that kind of human logically knows it is nonsense to do so.
But sometimes you don't know how strong they are, how much a plague they are to the protagonist and how long he already kept fighting them - or how long he already kept running away from them.
It's tough to judge this from the outside - from the outside it's always a pretty easy job to do.
Much tougher it always is when judging it from the inside and taking note of one's abilities and capacities to overcome. How much he/she's caught up in the dependencies of his/her own life. And how much or less there's a way out of it what is plaguing someone.
In that point, even a hero is just a human...
And those things may press him to the wall until he's "about to break".
matrixmann: (Default)
Originally posted by [personal profile] matrixmann at Erinnerung

Mythos vom Widerstand.
Graf von Stauffenberg.

Die drohende Niederlage auf allen Fronten und Verlust von persönlichen Privilegien führte zu dem Beschluss, dass die dilettantische Führung liquidiert werden muss.


Myth about resistance.
Graf von Stauffenberg.

The threat of defeat on all fronts and possible loss of personal privileges lead to the decision that the dilettantish acting leader must be liquidated.
matrixmann: (Black suits comin')
"Which one of your oaths is the one more important to you?"
"Of course that oath to protect civil life from harm!"
"Then why don't you rebel against your superior when he just orders you to harm the people you swore to protect?!"
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
People miss guts in this time episode. All feel as courageous to want to join the table, join the discussion and contribute their ideas, but when it comes down to standing out, standing by one's own ideas, risking a head for it and speaking up, defending it, then most of them play the cowards and hide behind the bush. Have a birthday party to organize. A tree to plant. A household shopping to do. Hold back. Try to satisfy the zeitgeist's picture of a good public image. And, above all, try to not to be a leader. Try not to be someone who inspires others, but just who staccatoes down its arguments like a record stuck on replay and who could be stolen from a factory which produces these guys from a mass mold.
matrixmann: (Waiting for command)
The hypocrisy of the rockers - bragging to create something of great importance and pretending this to the audience, but in fact it's the same every time they bring out a new album or go on tour. The same phrases, the same talking... Lyrics stay the same, music style stays the same - little variation.
Where is the great revolution you talk about? Seems like more trivial than there really is.
You produce the same kind of junkfood sound for the masses like all other empty hip popstars. You try to sell it as something else, but who listens carefully recognizes that it's always nearly the same like before. Not really much different than the rest of the commercialized circus...
matrixmann: (Default)
Originally posted by [personal profile] matrixmann at Erinnerung

2011: Spliting of Sudan.
matrixmann: (Somebody called me?)
Is it just me or has there really been a technical downgrade between the original Silent Hill series (I-IV) and the later installments, although for V there's been the hike-up to the next-generation consoles?

September 2017

M T W T F S S
     1 2 3
45 6789 10
11 1213 141516 17
1819 202122 2324
252627282930 

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Statistics


Free counters!

Free counters!
Page generated 26 September 2017 05:22 am